Whilst some of it is uploading at good old fashioned dialup speeds of 50 whatnots per second
liars...
So, there is a 'moment'...
(picture of the green linen cushion - to think, it only took three or four months and a leg in bandages for her to melt and ...change her mind...no limey babe can ever ever ever do.....why rural lands are pestilent and left only to rot.....[but thats the actual story]....and invite me up to her ivory tower...even the Eton fuckin boys not sure of which gender is more fun to fuck or fuck up, never got a look into.... well except that one night some months oater when she quite rightly knew how to deal with mine transgression, once only in life..should I burn that too? or rather recycle it into something else and new.... when it has been used here for art.... with feeling)
A moment. was one aged about 23 ... i have a perfect memory so i am just playing with words.
Driving back from that awful little island of bigots and women haters.... whom would have them forever chained to their agas as thats all they're good for...and all the pilots alcoholics. "am i mad... i shall never get a big grown up hairyplane job again... but.... i cannot do more of that... these awful people, egomaniac perverts who consider their craft... an extension of their doubtless small penises.... oh well back to depression and lostness and beinga lost atomised lost drifter.... oh well we alwats have Chaka.... stick err on loud.." and the "weekend of .." leisure? pleasure.....
You just know.
Even if of course being a lost confused younger so called English person, the NOT tourist version of a dystopian lost atomised, fucked up society still grappling with whom is really 'upper' middle class..?
and not.
So fast forward a few years from the only one, then, whom was an Island of sanity..... and having been true to tribal type even if always right on the shoreline - one foot always in the waters trying not to stand on their so called dry land....forever shifting but never really...
Only reason to go to America in when was Peoples Express? back then... very cheap strong drinks to forget being English except when one spoke as those cheap young women loved to hear it.... and then one could have a free pass to anywhere.
But that is no recipe for any kind of happiness, never mind humanity.... espsh when the great one her and her sister who gave me Mister Bach, from her humble South Carolinian swamps lands...Cormack probably did set his Road there...metaphorically.
But ever her...confusion.No simpler identity or story...
(is it nearly uploaded?)
One nigh maybe the third cheap flight in a few years...sat in a bar one am just four other sad losers there ... a Monday night, all is nothing, knowing full well, nothing can ever be something especially in the city that never sleeps...as fraudulent as every other place on the so called planet, and that cheap liquor beyond any medicine this 'patient' ( hahhh hahhhh god its poetry i think it was writing that, 'patient' that sent her into a stroppy tantrum by Telegram its pure poetry..)
Nothing can possibly make me feel not this way.... "even if Madonner wandered in and got err tits out assuming she has real ones...."
Sad drunk at the bar turns to moi... " ehhh look at 'em..... bloody .... pppwwwwwww even if i ad ten more in me dunno.... bit too much on the behind for me... look at em... cats would kick em back out.... I'm goin ome... had enough....
And in only three minutes of ignoring the recent arrivals a bit slovenly and not enough hard cheap liquor inside to even contemplate a bit of, diversity ...
And the greatest moment of life (excluding all of 1992-4 no matter what the Oxbridge scientist educated mum may think...) and 1998- 2010... she stumbles up to the 10cm (i stay foreign ust in case she looks in again) ... high stage all lit up .. neon ..flashy ..... weird that because there were likely only about six lost drunks in all night....
She kicks off her high heels stumbling.... nearly trips and breaks err neck....
" I'm leaving too.... maybe go to a real karaoke bar this'll give me another partial breakdown not that ive ever managed a real one of them no humans worth having one of them about.... cant take any more drunks... especially large ones wobbly on their pins...."
"ang on a minute.... it cann't be....
tough if your 'device' doesn't do WAV files a bit of work and you can heard every scratch and wear mark....
because a goddess even drunk and actually singing it just for us..... with such perfection every sign of worship of her must always be saved and .... well
who could, match that moment? Ever. Never mind it being decades ago.
However..... to be actually even happier this moment this way even with no possibility of her popping her head over... tomorrow. to see a paradise soon lost, thank god...
than if Chakka errself wandered in....and did second helpings.
means you simply never ever ever can ever predict anything ever. Specially at this older git age....
It's the 'journey' and the nonsense survived...and always turned into a silver lined piece of private art.... all humans are simply subjects. Of art...
Good for bugger all else in my book (or one of them i forget how many actually ongoing its all so utterly trilling every day even here in the middle of absolutely nowhere....)
