Not that i need anything.
The best thing about fait accompli is knowing what it means: there was never any point, and knowing why, does help have a jolly good night's sleep. And never a smidgen of 'anxiety', that every time one turns on World Service even these days is all they can speak about. Of course one cannot say to them "well surely that means your model of the spirit, stealing money to therapise it, never mind write about it, is really rather wrong or at least failed..... ehh winter death rates are kind of normal average and anyway in Martin's simply superb bible on that spirit, even he could not unravel the cultural construct that may indeed cause the heart attack or stroke.... that comes from you [sick] mind.."
But what is so absurdly interesting there is no poignancy, but there SURE is an example of MY 'p word' - i have only shared with one other in 1/4 of a decade since i told the 'great philosopher' of it - poor man though he still must must show off day in and out, on youtube, KNOWING there is no sublime 'other' ...reality...
No maybe something else and the ineffable.
So yes what an example of the p-word
have i uploaded this one before? I ain't even proof reading my waffle, as living in the 'moment' means that in my absurdly non-life, where i wish nothing ever to happen, and anyway i live in the middle of nowhere, so much bloody well happens i can never keep up...
"so much" i mean at an Orwellian or Thomas Mannish level, or even dare i say it God of all things real, especially woman and man, Gabriel Garcia...
But as a decade ago I discovered, and i don't suppose 'decade' will mean much to a continental in that even if myself i eschew the Greek myths even if to hear a lovely young man brag of his knowledge of them...just a few weeks ago.... in my house.....all that intrafamily murderous behaviour and poisonous stew... how truly worth living for despite them all....
so yes even The Bard in his Noble speech i rather liked, refers back in to The Homer in it all. And i must reread even if I didnt think that good - surely this could be bettered if one really did live two tortuous ten year cycles...i think they were ten exactly?
But that setting i cannot avoid having within even if I ran as far as I could from their 'education' age 16...
Anyway back to the 'now' and the 'not' visible. Like what is NOT on her Facebook wall - that is what actually is interesting.... and makes her maybe alone someone i could happily have as neighbour even in a city, maybe half the time...well that would be a coercive manipulative lie, wangle it to 1/4... sat in the loft writing the memoirs ... such a pretentious word memoirs, for living again every second and thank god i did save them...
This one i realised early this week almost could hold one of a few keys to what happened - the real version, after brexit and its true cause and effect....
The way that my friends.....so much time invested. The must-save-my-soul brigade....who take a lot of public money, if not in tax relief and property deals, who swept across the lands even here, did NOT go and visit the old lady here so isolated - not by 'choice' when several months i had begged and implored them as she required them o stand at her garden gate two metres away in that perfect early summer of 2020 not a cloud in sight for 100 days....and give them her money if they would be her friends.... and she had even signed up on their ferkin website....
And it was 'allowed' under exercise 'rules' ...
No other vehicle ever there.... says everything and just may be a key to get back the enlightenment values of there is no 'other' over there... that channel...
But i run ahead of myself, back to p-words and actually valuing someone - valuing being more reliable than fickle and unknowable 'love'.
To think - i just knew it....so there you are over half a year you nicely nurture and even counsel five of them... certainly they could be defined as 'friends' and for the last weekend, the message goes out - albeit in a sanitised female nonintrusive not hurtful to their fragile little worldview version which keeps people in boxes with a ribbon around that only they are allowed to loosen, , version... "so this woman i know well.... she has one deep philosophical question simply as a hypothetical, should she share with her beloved but hurt adult child the true version of her last few years or the one maybe that more Brits are comfy with, that of pain sorrow and hurt still coursing through the veins as was the case a decade ago...obviously...? hypothetical three dimensional chess.... on her behalf the woman i counsel that one question has been on my very organised wooden desktop written in fountain pen, two years..... you take money for spiritual advice from your 'patients', well i have been your friend and the definition of valuing someone is i wouldn't ask anyone on my homepatch they wouldn't have the depth or poise and grace i intuit you do....so here it is... and there is no come back... its just a toss of the coin really but i am interested in your take after all you speak so well of your Mother Theresa abilities and passions.... "
what do you know.....
even if i know there is only one person i would ask in the non sanitised version....
Only one who had the courage to not bring in her own ... opinions or lifestory and be objective...and maybe understand that is why we lived into this age to just maybe at times offer wise counsel....and appreciate that being asked is a true compliment... and i shall never ask any other the real name real people version....
I know that now.
That says everything but that s almost another book - the one i love - the "illicit...." one because it was only love and happy energy for young women, all others miserable and 'anxious' - except a couple of the mums.... my very best friends ever ... found 2020 ... out of the blue..
But there's always one... mad sad alcoholic who had to go and spoil it all....
and couldnt even love her own daughter enough not to be herself... or bring her to join us.
And now once again the goddesses are helping - i have everything to do today...everything literally...
reminder - make some money or get a friend with a better camera that can manage a simple shot in good light and capture the energy and energy and life in these for example 2020...
no signs visible not tat it matters as i shall never go back....
fait accomplis are so liberating... she - yesterday she, of course would never know that
but then as if the gods were ....
these are so poignantly of this place (despite the false tourist version )
eyezz actually proud of these.... and had not a second spare to go back and look at any snal in my very large pile...
XXX (= to edit ... there's another one even better hold back for now..)
**********
not to edit - well she was telegrammed this...August one evening.... like all the rest dspite every word she uttered " i want to be in a quieter rural place...close to nature.......bring my son up not in this city even this ultra wokish very nicepeopleish one ....especially all those wandering my artists quarter neighbourhood for years speaking with themselves nowadays scream really not very nice things at themselves.. " but do yp even get a smiley like thing when you send her what she has been saying months she wants to see....
as if their words were only ever moonrays heading in the wrong direction out into the void...
Now if anyone finds this who knows me - which as i am rather careful to ensure is impossible unless one person who may just remember my more public scruffy identity tells tales..or sticks a name on her wall ... this picture here would get me killed. Yes...
i give you 100% power...
Total power i defer all.
The landowners in supposedly "ohh everyone is flocking to these perfect ultra caring lovely-people communities hidden away post bugdemic....to buy houses in these sweet little villages with their London oligarch sex slave trade money.... that put London prices up so much they can now afford two...of my cottages....
i would never want to own.... because you never know when you may have to leave forever...and get the Eurostar....
so yes what they don't say in the estate agents is just how really nasty the farmers and landowners get if one tells the truth abot how they treat 'their' environment..... or even say " i quite like laws and rights...especially ECHR which owns your ass and protects my right to publish a photo that is the truth of people breaking environmental law day in and out....actually for fun..." which i cannot say ... or even hint....because they would kill me..... so someone could have me killed within about 5 mins i am sure some local person can be found on Facebook and tales told...links linked...
ahh yes same theme but far far far more bugdemic severest lining imaginable...i will have to leave the country (really) to tell the tale behind this....
oh yes... where i sit amd make my sublime phone calls occasionally that i wish to enjoy
oh yes... where i met ..them... just a month or two ago...seems like another century where baby figs werent yet on the shopping list
oh yes... the stories! i should but i cannot share the most tragic of them all - the way she told my children she would get out of her store books for them.. the libraries too lazy to even reopen when all 'restrictions' over months ago....
And....
well for all er money and qualification as foster parent.... she may as well never have said one of her many words all the last two years ever.....and that is why all our children are only living in acedia.... far better word than the p-word...
later today...as so many days before... the true loveliness in the image just how the pandemic of acedia even spread to the farmers... nine years its been like this....
