21 Nov 2021

regarding the 'pain' of others...

 Pain in the bum waking at three am far to often of late.

Just to complete the 'sequence'

There is one. 

Long planned.


And we have a rare bbc world service program that is just about listenable too, that in fact belongs here - a work only of 'art'. A sort of performative thing.

But what they always do.... is make 'it' about some more extreme case of wastelands of dad, usually brown bodies.

I know there are other forms of fatal death.....of the spirit the soul. I know full well that many wander the lands as good as dead people. 

But i also know something else - within that as usual other people version of Apocalypse, there s a comment in the Goya... it was not so good i shall listen again. Something about "recording" seeing... the terrors of death and destruction.

But there is something else they by default all seem to miss. I do not...

Those whom like myself notice

Noticing is all that there really is left with a worldwide pandemic of cant and vanity. By which i mean that which I know full well truly set in - in 'The West" for sure, or at least far moreso in the supposed more advanced' places.

SO all this worthy debate on what should be 'shown' and why. Where is some 'line'? And where is the 'photographer' in the scene.

I know only one thing. That despite the Wasteland I know full well that is in many places especially even here from the times certainly as brexit came and sucked the oxygen from everyone (the iconic fallen tree - and i know its an icon i do not need anyone else's opinion)  not part of that as the 'bottom third'  - mainly those around that wasteland of whatever had changed within even them ... generally ranted and drank Nigel's sour beer...

And that one thing - there is only what next but what has been for five and more years is noticing... No time to fashion the perfect angle to any shot, or get the light right r even read the bleedin instructions for the latest software upgrade in some flamin' camera  because there was so so so so soooohhhhh much to notice. Noticing... is as close to godliness there is in my world....

And i know that so few - almost no one does these days... the last years.

One did though - she surprised me and more. that day four years back...or rather early morning on another continent. Poor woman survived the hell of eight hours me being me. I never found anyone else worthy of the true version of it all... and like noticing, telling our true stories - all... and laughing even then at it all...every moment... 

understanding ... the understanding of someone who lived perhaps some of those similar themes, but more than understanding someone so happy to celebrate in the best philosophical way how 'failure' is always always part of anything and never ever take it to heart...ever.

But notice, that is all i know, and am proud of, so much noticed i know that few can pipe down and take notice of...

And for the first time in a decade sat reviewing so many images. Balls to any viewer here! I don't need you because that wonderful Greek word, kairos. It dodnt feel at all an enjoyable hobby even last year. SO much still just maybe to do...

Now i know there is nothing left to do, the kairos of it perhaps is working away deep down below the so called  higher 'consciousness' and say bleedin eck lucky you lovely now i noticed all these things... and have so many seemingly irrelevant pictures of what was so relevant in a universal humanity way in so called advanced 'civilisation' and ..i know they capture so much real change much just as ultimately a pandemic of acedia and confusion that "as sure as ferrets are ferrets"...will not end well.

But the purists will be all aesthetic " uhhww what a dull picture not enhanced with fancy software or even staged in any way such that is has any life in it.... " well they can ehhww all they like, because i know the movement... the the whole damn decade long operation, was about the most enjoyable and sustaining thing i have ever experienced in life. 

But it is not photographs somehow bringing back good 'memories', in fact not at all. I shall have to ponder what it really is but I have zero interest in sentimental memory masturbation... I know they are more alive than anything i ever here these days. especially these last years.